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A Few Resources For Dads

Monday morning, one of my first e-mails was from my son, Drew, who had sent me a link to an article about Fatherhood by a good friend, Adam Hollingsworth. Adam is a businessman, former chief of staff for Jacksonville Mayor John Peyton, and a wonderful Christian. The link to his article can be found here.

I took a minute and replied to Adam thanking him for the good article and sent him a list of materials and resources that I have found helpful in parenting over the years.

I thought that I would share the same thoughts with anyone looking for good material and practical help in being a better father. I actually get asked quite often by men about material that will help them to be better fathers and better husbands.

I always suggest that a careful study of the book of Proverbs from a "dad to child" view point is a great manual on raising a child in the fear of the Lord. 

Additionally, Robert Lewis has written a number of powerful studies for men and their relationship with their sons. Men's Fraternity is a three year Bible study, we have done that at our church and continue to do through Growth Classes and it has made a huge impact. Lewis also wrote, "Raising a Modern Day Knight" which is one of those really insightful and inspirational reads for dads.

Steve Farrar has also written a number of really great books on Parenting. He wrote Point Man, Anchor Man (not the Will Ferrell movie), and King Me, all of which helped me immensely with my sons.

I am convinced that through our dynamic connection with the Holy Spirit, when we are filled with his words and living in obedience that there is a better version of us that is waiting to come out. I want to challenge you not to waste a day in parenting and be the best father that you can be. Your children deserve that from you! 

 

Great Story From TBC Alumnus

Last week I had the opportunity to do an interview with a reporter from the Daytona Beach News Journal about Trinity Baptist College alumnus, Daniel Kuhr.

Daniel is a recent graduate and is 24 years old. He has become senior pastor of a 125 year old church, the First Baptist Church of Seville, FL.

This week, Daniel sent me a great story about their 125th anniversary weekend. They had 170+ in worship and baptized 9 people.

I'm thankful Daniel had the chance to learn and serve at Trinity Baptist College and for the amazing ministry that is happening with so many of our alumni.

Read The Article

 

Control Issues

Occasionally in preparing for a sermon, I am struck by how much the message resonates with where I find our people and how it fits with current events. Obviously I wish that every sermon did that, however, I am mindful that God is working through flawed vessels such as myself. 

This past weekend in preaching from the Sermon on the Mount, I dealt with the issue of worry. Worry comes in the form of stress and anxiety and can plague body, soul, and spirit. What struck me in my study was how worry is a by product of a control issue. We want to be in control and when we realize that we are not, we either try to take control (insecurity is the reason) or we become paralyzed by fear.

The answer for worry is really simple. It has to do with thinking and priorities. Jesus challenged us to consider the lilies of the field and reminded us of his providential care. When you realize how much care he has for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field you begin to trust him to care for you. If he has come to earth to meet your deepest need on the cross, he is not about to abandon you for those needs much less important.

The change in thinking about his love and providence will cause you to seek first the kingdom of God. With a renewed mind, you will put his work, his kingdom, his righteousness, his people, and his cause above yours. When you and I care deeply about His cause, than we can rest assured that he cares for our cause.

In times like these with economic uncertainty and spiritual challenges all around us, we would do well to allow the Gospel of Christ to speak truth into our troubled and worried hearts, knowing that we have a Father who cares!

The Debt Limit, Government Spending, And The Church

As our government nears a fiscal deadline of potentially significant proportions, I'm amazed at how much of the conversation and rhetoric hangs on social issues. People groups like the poor, homeless and elderly have been turned into political objects to be championed or cast aside.

At the office yesterday, I received an email with a very brief update from our food distribution that takes place every Monday at our Rescue Mission downtown. We had served 243 families and distributed over 19,000 pounds of food. I'm continually amazed at how God is working at our downtown mission, so I decided to share these great stats in a post on Twitter.

A few hours later I discovered that Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church and author of The Purpose Driven Life, had re-tweeted my post to his nearly 400,000 followers on Twitter. He attached an insightful bit of commentary to my original post, he tweeted:

"@RickWarren: If our 335,000 churches paused all our services,the govt couldn't cover it. @tom_messer: Yesterday served 243 families 19,440 lbs of food."

I appreciated him weighing in on the issue because, now more than ever, churches need to rise to the challenge and embrace these kinds of opportunities for Gospel ministry. He and I messaged back and forth and he indicated they had seen hundreds of spiritual decisions this year through their food bank ministry. I could share a similar report from our mission in downtown Jacksonville. 

This follows the example of Jesus where he would meet physical needs of people and provide for their spiritual needs. Our goal is not meeting a hunger need only, as important as that is, we are committed to ministering spiritually with everyone that we have the privilege of serving in our community.

While we have no idea what is going to happen with the debt limit in Washington, I am convinced that the government is ill equipped to meet the real needs that exist in our communities that must be met by compassionate and committed Christians and churches.

In the Book of James, scripture is clear regarding "true religion": The church has been called to minister to the poor, the fatherless and the widowed.

 

Great Stories

In the busyness of life and ministry, we need reminders and encouragements about the work that God has done to remind us that He is still working and will continue to work in the future.  

I had one of those God-moments of encouragement this week when I received an email from a lady who shared with me that her husband, as a child, attended our church and met Jesus as Savior and was baptized. All of this took place in the late 70's. She proceeded to explain to me that although over the years they moved from Jacksonville, that experience was a defining moment in her husband's life. They now have a family, worshipping God in a local church and he is serving as the youth director ministering to teens and children. That is awesome! 

These are the kinds of stories that are so encouraging to me, to see how (unknown to us) God has changed and directed the path of someone's life - and our church had a chance to be a part of that. 

Have you been reminded recently or can you think back to something God has done in your ministry in years past? Let that thought inspire and encourage you. 

 

Our Struggle With Envy

It appears to me that Christians (and even church leaders) struggle with envy. That was the case with Asaph, the writer of Psalm 73 who said:  

“For I was envious at the foolish when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” 

Defining Envy: I heard someone describe envy as, “wanting someone else’s life.” When you think that through, envy is when we want someone else’s life, their church, their money, their house, and even their body. When you really think about it - envy looks ugly. 

Dealing with Envy: It must be dealt with because it is one of those sins that we do not easily recognize in our lives. In fact it is far easier to see in others than to see in ourselves. It is not only hard to recognize but envy will rob you of joy for the life that you are now living. You can never be happy with what you have if you only want what someone else has. The sad reality is that what you want that someone else has really does reveal the content and character of your heart. Very subtlety we find our identity in the things that we do not have but envy in others.

Cure for Envy: Fortunately the word of God gives us great insight on how to slay the demon of envy in your life. Solomon talked about it in his instruction to his son when he said in Proverbs 23:17-18

"Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off."

Here is the truth, when you put your focus on God, and the fear of the Lord you will see where reality and satisfaction comes from. Sinners that seem to have all that you want have an end and their expectation will be cut off. That is not what happens to the child of God where our expectation will not be cut off.

This is what Asaph learned when he went quietly into the sanctuary of God in Psalm 73 and began to view life through worship. He realized that there was more to this life than what sinners enjoyed. In the life to come we are going to have a new body (better than any here), a new mansion (better than any house here), and a new life (better than the life you have now).

Learn to live satisfied with what God has given to you and draw near to Him!

Vintage Marriage

 

Early on in my sermon study for Sunday, I know that it is either going to be a fairly normal prep or that I am going to be dealing with some difficult passages or subject matter. Often it is a little of both. I have begun a series, as I typically do in the spring, on marriage. This year my theme centers on "Vintage Marriage," and covers the teaching of the Lord Jesus Christ on marriage, divorce, and singleness.

 

I am reading two really interesting and helpful books to augment my normal study and sermon prep: This Momentary Marriage by John Piper (which I am reading on my new iPad 2!) and Divorce: Before you Say "I Don't" by Lou Priolo. The latter was given to me by our staff counselor and has some helpful insights.

 

Why should we teach and preach on issues such as marriage, divorce, singleness, and sex? It is simple to me: if a subject is in God's word we should study it. It is clear that the Bible speaks often about the marriage relationship and if we ignore what it says we are ignoring God's revelation. 

 

Additionally, in light of the fact that so many of my congregation are single, I believe that it is better to know about the subject of marriage before you get married. God's word will make you wiser and will help to shape your thinking so that it conforms with God's truth.

 

Finally, many people have a distorted view of marriage because of their experiences and the example that has been set befor them. When we see what the designer of marriage said about marriage we can correct our view and align our expectations and behaviors with the reality of God's word.

 

You can watch or listen to my series on line by viewing our On-Demand Services. There is great joy in seeing our marriages reflect the glory of God and watching people grow in their commitment to the family.

 

Ministry Burnout

Last night my wife said to me, "I am ready for vacation!" My first internal reaction was, "I have way too much to do here in the ministry to be gone." I know that is not the right reaction and the reality is that there are times I need a break, my family needs a break, and I believe our church needs a break from me. 

Burnout and all the surrounding issues that come with it are very real in ministry life. Last fall, in our Church Life Conference, my friend Jonathan Falwell gave some eye opening statistics regarding burnout in ministry. Just this week I read two articles about the subject. I am posting these links for you to read: 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/02/nyregion/02burnout.html 

http://alanfadling.com/2009/06/03/ministry-burnout-stats/ 

Healthy ministries are led by healthy ministry leaders!

Gospel Centered Ministry - Part 1

I am an independent Baptist, I have been for decades. I received my education at an independent Baptist college and I currently pastor an independent Baptist church. I am a convinced Baptist in both doctrine and polity. I have had the privilege and opportunity of ministering, preaching, and networking with literally hundreds of other independent Baptists churches in our movement. The independent Baptist movement is primarily where I have built ministry friendships, received challenge, encouragement and instruction, and partnered with other churches in ministry.

Yet, I find myself writing this from the margin.

I believe I am speaking from the peripheral or even the fringe of the independent Baptist movement. I am here not because I have walked, or am walking away from our movement (although many have, especially our young men). I am not here because I have made concessions in my doctrine, it is unchanged. The independent Baptist movement, as many as 15,000 churches, continues to push ministries to the fringes as it increasingly centralizes around specific personalities and specific institutions and specific worship styles and specific methods. 

None of these are Jesus, the Gospel or core doctrine.

My burden over the last two years has been focused around pursuing a biblically healthy church and talking with other church leaders about biblically healthy church life. The pursuit has been refreshing. As I have been working on this with our lay leadership here in Jacksonville, I was reminded that we had an image problem in our own community. I'm not talking about an image problem that needed to be addressed by a new logo or new church name or new building or new advertising campaign.

At a fundamental level, I began to wonder if we were projecting behaviors into our community that were unhealthy, controlling, legalistic or hypocritical.

I am convinced that what should be known first and foremost about our churches are Jesus and the Gospel, period.

In a recent study for a sermon from II Cor. 4 Paul establishes the fact that Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the priority of Gospel ministry. Paul reiterates this idea explicitly in I Corinthians 2 and 15. It is proper to say that this was his priority and in healthy ministry, there must be priorities.

Al Mohler said, "The Christian faith is not a mere collection of doctrines - a bag of truths. Christianity is a comprehensive truth claim that encompasses every aspect of revealed doctrine, but is centered in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And, as apostolic preaching makes clear, the Gospel is the priority."

When the preaching of the Gospel, the sharing of the Gospel, and the living of the Gospel is the priority, that item of "first importance" must inform all areas of life and ministry.

I want to continue this Gospel conversation in the next post talking about the integrity of the Gospel. I always appreciate feedback from readers and insights from your experience.

 

Japan Earthquake Update

Here is another update from Missionary Steve Canter in Japan....

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I will write more on the rest of the trip tomorrow.  Words cannot describe it.  Pictures cannot show it.  500 Kilometers of Japan turned instantly into something worse than third world countries.  If there is any possibly way I strongly urge you to see this with your own eyes.  Thing you have seen on your missions trips changed you-passionately.  This is all of that 1,000 times over with no exaggeration.  I beg you to come.
 
7.4 Richter last night, a Japanese 6 where we were at.  I can tell you this; the brains perspective of an earthquake in a house is significantly different than lying in a tent flat on the ground.  In the house the brain perceives the house shaking not necessarily the ground.  Though it is quite aware that the earth itself is shaking and causing the house to shake that part thought process is not there.  It is the house that is shaking.  On the other hand laying in the tent on tera-firma the brain is quite aware of this.  When you are literally being bounced of the ground because tera-firma is shaking it became terror-shaka.  I awoke to knowing we were having an earthquake and also being aware it was a major one and still building, my first thought was the entire world (planet) is falling apart.  Literally that was how it felt.  That was more terrifying than the March 11 quake.  Everyone there concurs.
 
After a quick exit from the tent with my trusty LED flashlight, we all encountered dust particles in the beam of light making visibility of about 15 meters.  It was like a heavy fog.  First questioning thought was, dust from a rock/land slide?  But it was not settling instead it was becoming thicker.  Then it dawned on me it was pollen shaken from the evergreen (matsugi) trees.  The morning it everything was covered in a heavy dusting of pollen.  I found a crack running completely across the parking lot, a fallen pagota, and several rocks fallen into a stream with fresh-rather long mud splash marks on the bank.  Power was out from Aomori to south of Sendai, appx 300K.  Needles to say another adventure. . . . 3 confirmed deaths over 100 injured.   Roads had major cracks, though cars and trucks were passing, I would not have ridden a motorbike.  Some cracks were large enough to drop a bike wheel into.